wholeheartedness: a short study on daring greatly

I've always been a skeptic about what I call  "fluff" psychology. I didn't think it possible to find an academic who studies matters of the heart. While I'm a bonafide "feeler" according to Meyers Briggs, I'm also addicted to the scientific process. It's the journalist in me that requires all "facts" backed up with valid research references.

Enter Brene Brown, author of Daring Greatly, whose dissertation included what it takes to live wholehearted-- a lifelong pursuit of mine. In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brown defines ten guideposts for wholehearted living:

1. Cultivating Authenticity: Letting Go of What People Think
2. Cultivating Self Compassion: Letting Go of Perfectionism
3. Cultivating a Resilient Spirit: Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness
4. Cultivating Gratitude and Joy: Letting Go of Scarcity and Fear of the Dark
5. Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith: Letting Go of the Need for Certainty
6. Cultivating Creativity: Letting Go of Comparison
7. Cultivating Play and Rest: Letting Go of Exhaustion as a Status Symbol and Productivity as Self Worth
8. Cultivating Calm and Stillness: Letting Go of Anxiety as a Lifestyle
9. Cultivating Meaningful Work: Letting Go of Self-Doubt and "Supposed to"
10. Cultivating Laughter, Song and Dance: Letting Go of Being Cool and Always in Control

I followed this with a four page study of the translations of the word heart in the New Living Translation of the Bible, which shows seven different Hebrew and six different Greek translations of heart. When you compare these to the word wholehearted, it all comes back down to the inner man, the combination of the mind, will, understanding and the inclination or resolution to act on that.

This heart as the seat of appetites, emotions and courage renders Brene Brown’s research relevant from a scriptural point of view. There is no courage to dare or live wholly without an elemental understanding of the heart. Our emotions must be rooted properly, like a strong tree, in order for our courage to engage. This is why food has so many emotional ties. If we satiate our appetites too well, our heart becomes flaccid, just as poor nourishment grows shallow roots, and our courage will be empty. Interesting how this might be connected to America's infamous obesity crisis and a rampant rise among our youth in an inflated sense of entitlement.

If I'm reaching a bit too far in drawing parallels, challenge me. I think Brown is onto something that would change the way we live if we could just apply it. What do you think?

your heart 360º, life's wellspring

There's an old proverb that says "a man's heart is the wellspring of life." The word wellspring is used in so many ways these days that it's hard to actually find a reference that defines the original use, how well water is taken from the ground. You don't build a well just anywhere. You have to know where the water is. You have to know that it's running, not stagnant.

I left a glass of water on the bathroom counter one day after I left for work and my husband reminded me that standing water is a magnet for germs. Water from the rain is fairly pure (generally), but once it collects and stagnates on the ground it breeds little swimming things.

What's swimming around in the water of your mind today? Is your mind filled with things that are true or polluted with bitterness, discontent or insecurity?

Have you ever been the one who wasn't invited to a really great party? Have you ever seen two people whispering? You just KNOW they're talking about you. Someone you really respect doesn't make it to your book launch and you're certain they don't have the heart to tell you they don't like the book. These are all examples of that cesspool of lies and speculation. There's no truth in them.

So what do we do to keep the well fresh?
1. Read something that's true, like scripture or an inspirational book. Read it aloud.
2. Sing. Roll up your car windows or sing in the shower if you don't like how it sounds, but let the vibration of music resonate through your body. It will change your outlook on the day.
3. Act. Movement changes minds. Action speaks louder than words. Maybe what you need is a good walk with your headphones or maybe you need to write a letter or make a meal for someone. Act.

a life 360º

Have you ever seen a banyan vine? It looks like a tree with many roots, but really it's a multitude of interconnected vines.

In the Indo-European Gujarati language, banya means "grocer/merchant," not "tree." The Portuguese picked up the word to refer specifically to Hindu merchants and passed it along to the English as early as 1599 with the same meaning. By 1634, English writers began to tell of the banyan tree, a tree under which Hindu merchants would conduct their business. The tree provided a shaded place for a village meeting or for merchants to sell their goods. Eventually "banyan" became the name of the tree itself. *

Ancient scriptures use the analogy of the vine to talk about the role of man in relation to God. References to vines, fruit and pruning all point to a cultivated spiritual life. Many of those references conjure a grapevine or a fig tree, which is essentially what a Banyan tree is. A banyan (also banian) is a fig that starts its life as an epiphyte (a plant growing on another plant) when its seeds germinate in the cracks and crevices on a host tree (or on structures like buildings and bridges). When you see a Banyan vine up close, the analogy takes on a whole new meaning.

The vines are interconnected and deeply rooted. The tree cannot be easily moved. If you saw the movie Avatar, you witnessed a tree that served as home to a whole community. The roots were interconnected throughout the forest with other living plants. For some, this takes the analogy too far. What you cannot discard is that many things in life are interconnected this way. Your holistic well being is a perfect example.

You can care for your heart and neglect your soul. You can discard both in favor of physical fitness. Either way, your life is half full. (Or half empty, depending on your world view.) To tend your heart, soul, mind and strength like a garden, or a Banyan tree, is the center of living fully alive.

*Quotations from Wikipedia. Though not a valid research source, still a good repository for general information.

your strength 360º

In the holistic context, strength is talking about pure ability, force, strength, might. Your mind conjures a strong weight lifter of a guy, or Natasha Romanov in The Avengers. Seconds before I logged in to post on what makes our bodies strong:

• exercise
• great food
• sound sleep

I stopped to consider those with chronic pain and conditions that prohibit them from experiencing comfort in every day life. When I think of the chronic sinus pressure I deal with, I consider my brilliant friend who suffers from a long list of physical issues. He's in pain every day to the point that he lives on painkillers. Yet in the midst of that pain, he's the most brilliant technical architect on our team.

Lesson learned here is that we can only do so much to care for this earthly shell. At some point our bodies will fail us. If we've invested 360º in our heart, our soul and our mind, then the body might fail but we still have a lot to give. That  healthy balance is what feeds our ability to live 360º even when things are not perfect - to choose life when pain threatens to overtake it.

your mind 360º

How do you distinguish between your mind and your heart (center of physical life) and your soul (the seat of your feelings, desires, affections, aversions)?

1) the mind as a faculty of understanding, feeling, desiring

2) understanding

3) mind, i.e. spirit, way of thinking and feeling

4) thoughts, either good or bad

This is why 360º living is so vital to a great life. The mind is a hosting ground for the contents of your heart and soul. Joyce Meyer in her bestselling book says that "the mind is the battlefield." Once we've lost in our mind, we've lost.

My daughter lost something we'd accidentally donated to charity. In her frustration she said out loud, "there's no way they'll give it back." I looked her square in the eye and said, "honey, if you really believe that, then it will be true." I called the manager and explained the situation; we got the item back the next day. This was a small issue, but a huge life lesson for a teenager who has to choose whether she will believe what she fears over what's true.

Part of the process of beating the mind into submission is to train it, feed it and give it rest. A good book (qualifying the word good as in stimulating) is just as important as a good nap. A mind that's busy all the time is like a cluttered closet. What does your mind look like today?

your soul 360º

We use the word soul for things that touch us in a deep place. When we experience music or art that seems to set off an electricity inside us, this is how the human feels the soul move.

The first mention of the word in the King James Bible was on the occasion of the creation of man. It was when God breathed the breath of life that man's soul came alive. The same Hebrew translation uses the word differently in a holistic context:

1) breath

a) the breath of life

1) the vital force which animates the body and shows itself in breathing

a) of animals

b) of men

b) life

c) that in which there is life

1) a living being, a living soul

2) the soul

a) the seat of the feelings, desires, affections, aversions (our heart, soul etc.)

b) the (human) soul in so far as it is constituted that by the right use of the aids offered it by God it can attain its highest end and secure eternal blessedness, the soul regarded as a moral being designed for everlasting life

c) the soul as an essence which differs from the body and is not dissolved by death (distinguished from other parts of the body)

We think of breath as a physical thing, yet it's the seat of creation and an ongoing vital force. It's no coincidence that our vital functions are tied to our breath. Our emotions and passions,  as well. How many times have you heard, it took my breath away, when someone was talking about an expression that moved or inspired them?

Our breath is linked to our mind as well. How many times have you been concentrating on a problem and didn't realize why you were growing a headache until you noticed you were holding your breath?

If we starve our soul in favor of intellect or physical accomplishment, we're living a life half full. How do you feed the soul? It begins with stillness. Selah.

your life 360º

What is life 360º?

George Bernard Shaw wrote, "Where is the joy lost in living?" Take a moment and ask yourself. Happiness is purchased with possessions, experiences and circumstances. Joy circumvents the things we cannot control. A life lived 360º taps into all the ingredients of a full life to create someone fully alive - heart, soul, mind and strength.